Leveling the Playing Field
by hunterwolf11
Summary: Booth has to even things up. Think tubs. Spoilers through season 3 finale, chapter 3 up, finis!
1. Equality

Brennan sighed deeply as she sat back and let the steaming water and lavender scented bubbles flow around her. The past few weeks, hell, months, had been a horrific emotional roller coaster ride and she hoped the bath would help relax muscles overtaxed by the stress.

A gourmet chocolate bar sat next to her glass of white wine and she languidly stretched an arm from the water to break off a square and pop it into her mouth. She allowed her body heat, slightly raised from the warm water around her, to slowly melt the chocolate on her tongue. She imagined the chemical reactions taking place in her neurons as the sweet treat stimulated her hypothalamus and elevated her seratonin levels. Her eyes closed in pure bliss momentarily, and when she opened them she returned to her well-worn paperback in her other hand.

The loud classical music drifting into the room from the stereo may have explained why she didn't hear the knocking on her front door, but a few moments later she was startled upon hearing her bathroom door banging forcefully against the door bumper and she bolted upright instinctually.

"Ok. You know what? Your excuses just don't fly. I know you don't believe in awareness after death but you _do_ understand and even appreciate the significance of funeral services. You've gone to too many of our victims' funerals to say otherwise; not to mention being upset when I missed one of them. Why didn't you want to go to my funeral?"

During the course of this rant Brennan had regained her composure enough to fall back into the bubbly curtain above the waterline but she noticed somewhat amusedly that his eyes had started by drilling holes straight into hers but at some point had widened and drifted south of her neck and even now, her breasts fully clothed with bubbles, his eyes were glued to the waterline.

"I appreciate the fact the you're trying to level the playing rink by barging in here and invading my privacy the way you feel I invaded yours, but I'm not sure my dad will be quite so understanding when he gets back from visiting the girls tonight."

"Playing field, Bones, level the playing field." Finally his eyes snapped up to meet hers, then darted around nervously. "Wait. Your dad is staying here?"

Brennan smiled smugly. "Yes. My dad. He apparently had no qualms about killing a deputy director of the FBI when he felt I was threatened, I'm really not sure what he'll do to you when he finds out about this."

Booth relaxed a bit at the teasing tone to her voice. To anyone who didn't know her better she sounded very serious, very matter-of-fact, but he recognized it as her playful banter tone and he smirked a little. "Nah, you told me he said I was the nicest guy who ever arrested him. I think he likes me."

"There's a reason hearsay isn't generally allowed into testimony. It's often an exaggerated account of actual events or even an outright lie."

"You wouldn't lie to me, Bones."

"Make up your mind, Booth!" Her smug smile cracked into an outright grin as she knew she had the upper hand. "You just burst in here accusing me of lying to you about my reasons for not wanting to attend your funeral and now, when it suits you, you say I couldn't lie to you. You can't have it both ways."

Thinking a moment, Booth finally saw the novel in his partner's hand and burst out laughing. "You're reading your own book?"

"What? I like it; it's a good book. And nice try at deflecting the question."

"How modest you are. And you didn't ask a question, you stated facts, and you deflected my question, which was an actual question, to you in the first place."

Brennan's jaw dropped a bit, impressed despite herself. "I'm covered by bubbles, I'd say that should meet America's puritan modesty standards enough, given the circumstances. And you've been hanging around with me too long; you're starting to sound like me."

"I wasn't talking about that kind of modesty. But since you brought it up, you said you found my lack of puritan modesty refreshing -yet you're hiding behind your bubbles. And maybe you need to hang around me more, because, well, quite frankly, you sound nothing like me."

"What, you want me to stand up?" Brennan dropped her book beside the tub and gripped the sides, moving as if to stand. She knew Booth would either yell for her to stop and berate her lack of societal norms or turn around.

Instead, he crossed his arms and shifted his stance, seemingly getting more comfortable. She blinked for a moment, half-ready to rise, and realized she couldn't back down now, couldn't let him win. She narrowed her eyes, gritted her teeth and stood.

Booth closed his eyes and chuckled. "I saw you hesitate. You're not as unfazed as you'd like to think."

She sat back down in the water, feeling her face redden. "That was for your benefit. So you could get ready to close your eyes...like you did."

His face became more serious as he opened his eyes again, "You never answered my question."

Brennan sighed and closed her own eyes. "My dad is staying here because when you were gone, when I thought you were dead...I didn't handle it well at all. I could compartmentalize at work. At least, most of the time. Everyone kept looking at me sadly. They treated me as if I was fragile glass that would shatter at the slightest touch. If they had acted normally, I could have coped there just fine. Work is an excellent distraction. But at home, when I was alone, I had nothing to think about except the fact that you had died because of me. Because you wanted me to have a good time with my friends and relax. I thought your son had lost his father because of me. I couldn't deal with that when I had no work to occupy my mind. So he kept me company at home, tried to keep my mind off you and what I had done."

She opened her eyes, fast filling with as yet unshed tears. Swallowing thickly, she continued, "I didn't want to go to your funeral because it made it real. I wasn't dealing well when it didn't seem quite so final, I didn't think I would deal at all if I saw the finality of your funeral. You told me you'd never leave me and never betray me. I said I would stay vigilant, but I wasn't. I know you thought you'd taken care of making sure I was informed, and it wasn't your fault, but it's going to take awhile for my head to convince my heart. You taught me how to listen to both; you should understand that difficulty."

Booth had his eyes on the floor now and nodded. "I can accept that. Thank you for being honest with me. But you do know it wasn't your fault, right? Pam is the only one to blame. She made the decision to aim a gun at someone important to me. And I made the decision to stand in the line of fire."

"Honey?"

The front door slammed shut and Booth immediately spun and shut the bathroom door. "Oh my god, Bones, your dad can't find me here; he'll kill me!"

"Calm down, Booth, he likes you, I'm an adult, and there's really nothing going on between us here, there's nothing to worry about." Tilting her head up she raised her voice, "I'm in the bath, dad, I'll be out in a minute!"

Booth turned back around to see Brennan rise from the water a second time, only this time he wasn't prepared.

"Quit staring and grab me a towel, Booth."


	2. Coffee Brewing

A/N: Well, I meant for this to be a oneshot but...the reviews for my first story were very encouraging and I guess it is kind of cruel to leave it where I did, huh?

--

Booth grabbed the first towel his now darting eyes caught sight of and tossed it her way. Her bathroom didn't have any windows...perfect. The only possible escape route was an air duct and he really wasn't much of a contortionist.

"I don't think you'll fit through there. Besides, I already told you, there's nothing to worry about." Amused yet condescending. How she always fit the two tones together so perfectly never ceased to amaze him.

"You never know." His comment was directed at the duct thoughtfully before turning to face his now towel-wrapped partner. "You really don't know anything about men, do you? There is no way a man walks in to find his naked daughter conversing with another man, even if he's fully clothed, and just shrugs it off. There's just no way."

"I'm not a teenager anymore, Booth, and neither are you. Besides, the music outside has stopped and I'm sure he can hear that I'm talking with someone in here."

As if on cue the door resounded with a couple quick knocks. "Everything ok in there, sweetheart?"

Booth's body stilled as he felt like his heart stopped.

"Fine, dad. Booth and I will be out in a minute."

Jaw dropping and chocolate eyes widening, Booth just stared at Brennan like she'd tossed a puppy out a window. Why didn't this bathroom have a window?

"Why doesn't your bathroom have a window?"

"O...kay. You want some coffee or something?" Through the door, Booth could hear the dark amusement in Max's voice. It was the dark part that had him worried. He hadn't meant to voice his frustration about the lack of a window out loud and now it seemed obvious Max had heard him. It made Booth sound, well, guilty.

"None for me, dad, thanks." To Booth, "The bathroom doesn't have a window because it's in the interior of the building."

"Agent Booth? Would you like some coffee?" At least now the amusement part seemed to be winning out in the disembodied voice.

"No thank you, sir."

Brennan couldn't help but smile as Booth responded with his eyes shut and defeat mixed with an expectation of pain to come written on his face. His voice seemed a little to high pitched. He could be so juvenile sometimes.

"Are you sure, Agent Booth? Because if I don't have to make coffee then I really have nothing better to do than stand out here waiting for you to come out." The dark part had seemingly renewed its battle for supremacy.

"Oh, um, yeah, coffee sounds great." Booth was a little proud that his voice wasn't quite so squeaky this time. He was definitely feeling like a sixteen year-old boy again. Though at least as a teenager he'd never known for a fact that his girlfriends' fathers were capable of homicide. Not to mention that the fathers in question were his actual girlfriends'...and that he was usually guilty of more than just getting an accidental eyeful.

As if mocking his thoughts of intimacy, Brennan took a couple steps closer to him and raised her hand as if to gently cup the side of his face, an unreadable expression on her own. Time seemed to slow down for the agent as he thought this was it: they were going to kiss. No steamboats, no lawyers, just an angry and amused dad outside. Well, nothing for them was normal anyway.

Instead, her hand came to rest on an object slightly behind his head. "Booth, can you move? I need to grab my robe."

"What? Sure." Booth shook his head as time renewed its normal pace and moved quickly to the side and right into the towel hanger. "Ow!" He rubbed his sore arm as Brennan donned the robe over her towel and moved back to the tub to let the water out and gather her things. He finally noticed the whole set up and chuckled. "You know, we're not that different, I had the music, cigar, beer, and comic book, and here you've got the music, chocolate, wine, and...your book." He still found it so charmingly Bones-like that she read her own books.

"Chocolate isn't nearly as unhealthy as a cigar; I don't look like a fool with a beer-hat on my head, and what's wrong with reading my books? I write what I like, and like to read what I like." A sad, troubled expression suddenly crossed her face. "It's tough to read Zach's character now, though. I'm not sure I can write him anymore."

Booth had just opened the door as she said the last part and as Brennan walked past him through it he dropped a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about Zach, Bones, really. I know how much you loved the kid." He left his hand on her arm and moved so his own was slung around her shoulders as they walked the short distance to her bedroom. The moment was getting too serious for his comfort so he shifted the subject slightly, "Though I am glad you finally admit you write us all into your books."

Brennan stilled a moment then swept past him into her room with narrowed eyes. "I'll admit some of the characters share personality traits with people I know." She knew he was lightening the moment but she didn't want him to think...

"So I'm Andy Lister after all."

"I barely knew you when I wrote Andy Lister. We'd worked on one case together and you were an insufferable, arrogant, condescending jackass whom I banned from the lab."

"I was the arrogant, condescending one? Really? Doctor?"

Her bedroom door slamming shut was the only response. Booth smirked and tossed his poker chip in the air but as he moved to deftly catch it his fine motor skills were impaired by a not-so subtle cough from the couch across the room.

"Coffee's almost ready. Sit down, we can chat."


	3. Crazy Family

A/N: Any former X-Philes catch the Tooms reference last chapter? Anyway, here's part 3. This is it for this story, though I plan to write a casefic next :) I want to say thank you to everyone who's reviewed this and added me to their lists, that's an honor beyond what I can describe. So, on with the show!

--

Booth moved to sit on the other end of the couch from Max, leaving his poker chip lying forgotten on the floor. For a few moments the two men just stared at each other, Booth bravely not looking away. Finally Max smiled and leaned back against the back and side of the couch, angled so he could still face Booth. "So." He chuckled a little.

Seeing that he wasn't about to get stabbed, crucified, disemboweled, and set on fire, Booth visibly relaxed and chuckled a bit himself. Max seemed almost cheerful. "Yeah, this is much more awkward when I'm not trying to arrest you, huh?"

"So you let my little girl think you were dead, broke her heart, and just waltz back into her life like nothing happened? And then when her genius, big-eyed assistant turns out to be a murderer you take advantage of her emotional state to see her naked? I thought you were an honorable man, Booth."

Booth blinked and his mouth moved weirdly. The damn smile was still on Max's face. Suddenly Brennan's words from several months ago came back to him.

_He's a con man, Booth. He's always cheerful._

"I am! I...I took a bullet for her. Doesn't that mean anything to you people?"

"Actually, it does. Thank you. But that does not give you the right to break her heart. Or to be in the bathroom with her while she bathes...what was that about, anyway? That just seems creepier than I expected from you."

Booth sighed and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. He didn't know how to react to this man. He was like an emotional yo-yo. He considered an accusatory response, pointing out that Max's initial abandonment was what had most likely caused Brennan's stronger than normal emotional response to people leaving her, but that didn't seem like a good idea at the moment. He wanted to mollify, not antagonize. Plus, he wasn't entirely sure Max was truly angry and didn't want to drive him to real ire. He decided honesty was the best policy, even if it was far-fetched honesty.

"Okay, Bones...uh, Bren...Temperance, was supposed to be informed that I was not actually dead. So that's not really my fault. I didn't mean to break her heart. I wasn't sure it was possible for me to, to be honest. But I tried to avoid causing her any pain. As ridiculous as it sounds, our former therapist, Dr. Sweets-he testified against you-you probably remember him, _he_ was the one who decided not to tell her and hurt her." He lifted his head and stared Max in the eye again.

Max was nodding, smile still in place. "That's good to hear, son, I was afraid you were doing some sort of experiment to see how she'd react or something."

Something in Booth's brain clicked at hearing the word 'experiment'. Suddenly it all made sense. Sweets had said he was doing some sort of study on them, after all. The national security defense was so weak. "That son of a bitch! Thank you, Max, if she won't deck him maybe I will, after all."

"Huh?" The outburst had genuinely confused Max and surprised the fixed smile away momentarily.

"Sweets, he was the one doing an experiment. He's 'observing' us for some stupid psychological study about partner dynamics or something. He's always found her rational objectivity fascinating. I should have known." She should have known too, he silently thought to himself. Maybe she did; it was right after their confrontation that she'd pulled Sweets aside and said something in private to him.

Speaking of Brennan, what was she doing in her bedroom for so long? Trying on every piece of clothing that she owned?

"Okay, now how about the coed bathing?"

Booth laughed nervously, "It-it wasn't coed bathing. Look, I'm dry and fully clothed."

Max just raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'And that's better?'

"Well, she burst in on my bath time first!"

"Bath time? You sound like a two-year-old. So, what you're really saying is that you felt that since _she_ invaded _your_ privacy and made _you_ uncomfortable that you were free to do the same? Since you showed her yours unwillingly she should show you hers?"

Booth winced at the word choice. It both implied that his actions were immature as well as sexually charged. Unfortunately, it was also pretty spot on.

"When you put it that way, I look like a pretty big jackass huh?"

Max sighed and shook his head. "You know, this isn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. I missed out on this part of Tempe's life, you know? Harassing the boyfriends when they get caught red-handed. Maybe it's because you're both adults, or maybe it's just that I actually like you and know you wouldn't knowingly hurt my daughter. You love her too much."

Booth had an awkward smile on his face. "Well, first, I'm not her boyfriend." He continued a little more seriously, "I'm a soldier and a law enforcement officer so I'm conditioned to take a bullet for pretty much anyone. But I'll admit that I've never been so willing to put myself in danger or so prepared to do so again if the need arises."

"So you're not arguing the point about loving her." Max pointed out. Every time he'd used that word with his daughter in regards to Booth she'd protest vehemently about their partnership being strictly platonic. A little too vehemently. Although he'd missed out on a lot of his daughter's life he knew her well enough to know that the harder and more emotionally she argued something that it was something that scared her and had some truth to it. If she really had no feelings for her partner she would have just stated it as coldly as a fact and shrugged and moved on. The lady really doth protest too much.

"No. But can we keep that between us? You see, Bones, she doesn't do well with things like that yet. You have to be careful how you approach some things, warm her up to the idea without her really knowing what you're doing. If you push her, she runs."

Max nodded, silently impressed with the man before him. Booth did know Temperance well, and loved her well too. He was patient, kind, honorable, and not so infatuated that he just agreed with everything she did. He pushed her, taught her, and tested her. Max also noted that Booth was a little too comfortable now though; he'd referred to Tempe as 'Bones' again and didn't catch himself this time. A little more fun couldn't hurt.

"So, now you're saying that she's seen you naked, so you decided it was ok for you to see her naked, and that really, you want that to happen more often under different circumstances?"

"What? No! I mean, well, mayb-" His brain caught up with his mouth at that point and he stopped, smirking. "You're just having more fun, I get it."

For the first time since he walked into the apartment Max really laughed. "Booth, I can't picture anyone else capturing my little girl's heart. You remember when I showed up thinking she was getting married? I was so excited for you two." Max moved closer and clapped a hand on Booth's shoulder. "You do plan on marrying her someday, right?"

Booth distractedly looked back at the door to Brennan's bedroom. The conversation was getting uncomfortable again. What the hell was she doing in there? She had to have gone through her whole wardrobe twice by now. Maybe she'd fallen and hit her head? If he hadn't been concentrating so hard on her whereabouts his brain might have done some self-editing before he blurted out, "She's not really the marrying kind."

Max's face darkened in real anger for the first time and it rang through in his voice, too. "Excuse me?"

Booth whipped his head back to Max upon hearing the anger. He mentally reviewed what he'd just said and his eyes widened as he jumped to his feet and took a few steps backwards. "Whoa, wait. That came out wrong. What I _mean_, is, she doesn't believe in marriage. _Not_ that she, well, not that I don't think she's good enough for that." He laughed nervously, desperately, as he said this.

Brennan chose that moment to emerge from her bedroom; hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and wearing scrub pants and a tank top.

Happy for the diversion, Booth took in her appearance and narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Oblivious, Brennan just stared back and asked, "What?"

"It took you _that_ long to pick out that outfit? I'm dying out here!"

"I thought you two would need some time to chat, you know, male bonding. And what's wrong with this? I'm at home, I want to be comfortable."

Max stood up and smiled to his daughter. "You look fine, honey." Then, curiously, "Do you have something against getting married?"

Booth spun back to face the man who was apparently trying to get Booth painfully castrated. Did this family have no idea of taboo subjects? Confidential conversations?

Meanwhile, Brennan's face scrunched up in confusion. "It's an archaic institution that was used to sell women off like property. You're not trying to marry me off to Booth now just because he saw me naked are you?"

"No, sweetie, we got that sorted out. Apparently it's ok because you saw him naked first."

"Will you two stop saying..._naked_" He whispered the last word like it was dirty.

Father and daughter turned to regard the agent. Finally Brennan spoke, "Is this another one of those things you won't discuss, like teats?"

"Bones! Your dad!" His hands flew into the air and then flopped at his sides helplessly. "Ok, I'm going. You two can stay here and discuss nakedness and teats and marriage to your hearts content." He stormed past them and gritted his teeth as he got to the door and heard Max speak to his daughter.

"You know, marriage isn't about ownership anymore, honey. They got rid of the dowry quite awhile ago."

Booth slammed the door behind him.


End file.
